Showing posts with label Just Because. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Just Because. Show all posts
Monday, March 15, 2010
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
A Story About Starbu... I mean Love
Awww, so cute. I remember the day those two love birds met actually. It was a beautiful late summer day, the air was crisp with love. I remember seeing this wonderful brunette with a perfect smile, but alas her eyes were not for me, but another man. It took me a while to see who she was looking at, but it didn't take long to see that a simple street could not keep these two apart. I will always remember that day, it was the first time i ever ordered the Vanilla Bean Frapachino. As i sat by the window of the Starbucks, enjoying my Vanilla treat, i witnessed love bloom. No, I wasn't in the same Starbucks as her..What?, NO i wasn't in his either. I was actually in the one on the second floor two doors down. You know that new one they put in, that over looks the park.. yeah yeah that one, the one directly above that old Starbucks.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Returning Your Message
I know what you mean; I had one of those nights last week. It was amazing! A well deserved (and expensive) night out. Right now. however, I'm a little into the bottle and watching an infomercial for "Turbo Jam" - it's basically Toe Bow meets 20 minute workouts. They guarantee 10lbs and 10in in 10 days. I believe it. It basically looks like a high intensity kick boxing class compressed into a twenty minute workout. Even I can't do half the shit on this DVD. It's like a weight-loss DVD for people who are already in shape. I don't get this?! A 300 lb man would probably die from a heart attack. These workouts also look more like a choreographed dance... How am i expected to remember this? These people all scare me, they are all far too happy...
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Feeling Sorry for Winterlude
So here in Ottawa we have a yearly winter festival called winterlude.
Hilariously enough, it seems that every year when winterlude begins the weather always seems to heat up. Great for some of us; terrible for others. Personally I don’t mind the increased temperatures, despite the fact that it usually comes with rain, slush, and gloomy days. That being said it’s currently above freezing and that puts a smile on my face.
To the point however! A big part of the this yearly festival is an international ice-sculpting competition. Some years bring out more sculptures than others, but every year it is amazing to see what people can create out of a block or two of ice. I was fortunate enough to see some of the sculptures before Mother Nature decided to play her yearly miss-timed April’s Fool joke.
I was speaking to a friend in regards to said ice sculptures to which she told me she always felt sorry for them, similar to how she felt about a certain lamp in a certain IKEA commercial. (If you haven’t seen it, a lamp is thrown out, and through sad music, panning in and out, and terrible weather conditions, we, the viewer, begin to feel for the curbside piece of metal) I asked myself how one could feel as bad for a lamp as an ice sculpture. How could one feel bad for either? The creator of the lamp and similarly the ice sculptures, sure, but the inanimate objects themselves? Amazing how we do however. I too even felt bad. That being said, my sympathies will certainly go to the ice. The ice, with time, will melt. The image of a grasshopper minatore will not longer put a twisted smile on the faces of the passing children. The country of France will have nothing to show for their efforts except a photograph and a ribbon with the number 1 on it. Where as the lamp, will simply remain a lamp. Whether curbside, or bedside, the lamp will always be a lamp. Perhaps even the home of some small garbage dwelling squirrel or chipmunk. Perhaps it will find better days as a decoration for a hobo. It may be even be pickup by a passerby and once again be used as a lamp. Feel if you must for these creations, but always remember, there will be other lamps, as I assure you there will be other half melted winterlude ice sculptures.
The snow sculptures however, they deserve no sympathy.
Hilariously enough, it seems that every year when winterlude begins the weather always seems to heat up. Great for some of us; terrible for others. Personally I don’t mind the increased temperatures, despite the fact that it usually comes with rain, slush, and gloomy days. That being said it’s currently above freezing and that puts a smile on my face.
To the point however! A big part of the this yearly festival is an international ice-sculpting competition. Some years bring out more sculptures than others, but every year it is amazing to see what people can create out of a block or two of ice. I was fortunate enough to see some of the sculptures before Mother Nature decided to play her yearly miss-timed April’s Fool joke.
I was speaking to a friend in regards to said ice sculptures to which she told me she always felt sorry for them, similar to how she felt about a certain lamp in a certain IKEA commercial. (If you haven’t seen it, a lamp is thrown out, and through sad music, panning in and out, and terrible weather conditions, we, the viewer, begin to feel for the curbside piece of metal) I asked myself how one could feel as bad for a lamp as an ice sculpture. How could one feel bad for either? The creator of the lamp and similarly the ice sculptures, sure, but the inanimate objects themselves? Amazing how we do however. I too even felt bad. That being said, my sympathies will certainly go to the ice. The ice, with time, will melt. The image of a grasshopper minatore will not longer put a twisted smile on the faces of the passing children. The country of France will have nothing to show for their efforts except a photograph and a ribbon with the number 1 on it. Where as the lamp, will simply remain a lamp. Whether curbside, or bedside, the lamp will always be a lamp. Perhaps even the home of some small garbage dwelling squirrel or chipmunk. Perhaps it will find better days as a decoration for a hobo. It may be even be pickup by a passerby and once again be used as a lamp. Feel if you must for these creations, but always remember, there will be other lamps, as I assure you there will be other half melted winterlude ice sculptures.
The snow sculptures however, they deserve no sympathy.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Writing for the Sake of Writing
That’s basically about what I’m doing. I really don’t have an opinion on anything, well nothing that would really be relevant to the “theme” of my blog page at least. I mean I suppose I could just rant about football or something, but really, that’s not why I made this page. I made it so you the reader (ahahahahahah what reader) could enjoy my work and my dip into the insanity and nonsense that is my mind.
So where do I start, ummm, lets see; dolphins. Awesome creatures. Mother nature, way to go buddy! Good work on these little buggers - Super smart, really fun, not to mention interesting enough that we managed to make a television series with a dolphin as the star.
Speaking of flipper, who ever came up with the idea for a show involving a dolphin? I can only imagine the discussion in the board room at NBC
“We need a new show idea and we need one for this fall season”
“Well the beach boys are big, maybe me can make a show about surfing”
“No no, that will never fly it’s too cliché and mindless, but the beach, I like that”
“We need something fun, something that will yell ‘hey kids watch this show it’s better than all the other shows on tv’”
“I’ve got it lets make a show about a dolphin, in Miami, with good looking trainers!”
“Brilliant!!! But wait, how will we get the dolphin to do what we want”
“Simple; we will use 5 female dolphins for most of the interactions and tricks, and we will get a more powerful male dolphin to do what I like to call “the tail walk””
“I like it….but wait, I’m still not convinced. How will the dolphin talk?”
“Well, she won’t. But we’ll just replace the dolphin’s voice with that of a bird!”
“Perfect, lets run it!”
Makes you wonder how they came up with that farfetched idea in the 60’s? Hmmm.
Man, how times at NBC have changed (NBC please don’t sue me! I enjoy your primetime programming and your Olympic coverage is supreme….seriously don’t sue me, I’ll keep pitching your station if it keeps me out of hot water…no pun intended)
Gotta hand it to them, they got 3 years of programming out of it.
So what’s next on the list that I’m making up as I go along… oh eggs.
Why do the egg farmers of wherever insist on pushing eggs as being more than a breakfast food. Truly, I do understand the benefits of eggs. They are a great source of calcium, vitamins, and provide a substantial amount of energy, but really, for dinner? Yes yes, you can mix eggs with almost any dish to spice it up, but perhaps I’m simply too traditional to enjoy eggs beyond noon. At 8pm when I’m thinking “what would satisfy me right now”, eggs, well they simply are not the first (or second) thing that comes to my mind. So why then do you try and tell me that eggs are great for dinner. I want my steak, my potatoes, my hamburgers, my onion rings, my carrots, my whisky chicken, my eggs, wait no.. no eggs. Shame on you egg farmers of wherever for trying to convince me that eggs are as tasty when the sun goes down as when the sun comes up. Now if only I had more time in the morning to cook them.
What’s the deal with movie theater popcorn. How did they make it so tasty? Personally, I’m convinced it’s completely psychological. They use the exact same machines at sporting arenas and such, and really, lets face it, popcorn at the arenas isn’t as good as at the theater. I once believed Little Debbie put nicotine in their snake cakes, which is what made them so delicious and irresistible as a child. I would eat a whole box because I simply couldn’t put them down. (This isn’t true, so again I’m going to ask that Little Debbie not to sue me) Perhaps movie theater popcorn has these same “nicotine” properties, infused in the butter they use. I don’t know. I personally never order the popcorn, but that’s because it costs more than the ticket to get in.
Why do people like coffee so much. Like really, it tastes like crap and is terrible for you. And for all you that have become a slave to coffee, shame on you. But my questions is, who out there drank coffee for the first time and was like “Oh my God, this is delicious, this bean made brew is superb. I need to consume as much of this as I possibly can. Wow, it’s like the more I drink the better I feel, oh wait, I’m crashing…” *sip* “Hey it works almost instantly. Good God this is the worlds greatest creation.” Not sure who, if anyone, would even say that, but that’s my interpretations of coffee drinkers. Yes, I’m a jerk like that. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to have a cup of tea before my shift end. Speaking of which… Earl Grey, not British.. Chinese. Go figure eh!
So where do I start, ummm, lets see; dolphins. Awesome creatures. Mother nature, way to go buddy! Good work on these little buggers - Super smart, really fun, not to mention interesting enough that we managed to make a television series with a dolphin as the star.
Speaking of flipper, who ever came up with the idea for a show involving a dolphin? I can only imagine the discussion in the board room at NBC
“We need a new show idea and we need one for this fall season”
“Well the beach boys are big, maybe me can make a show about surfing”
“No no, that will never fly it’s too cliché and mindless, but the beach, I like that”
“We need something fun, something that will yell ‘hey kids watch this show it’s better than all the other shows on tv’”
“I’ve got it lets make a show about a dolphin, in Miami, with good looking trainers!”
“Brilliant!!! But wait, how will we get the dolphin to do what we want”
“Simple; we will use 5 female dolphins for most of the interactions and tricks, and we will get a more powerful male dolphin to do what I like to call “the tail walk””
“I like it….but wait, I’m still not convinced. How will the dolphin talk?”
“Well, she won’t. But we’ll just replace the dolphin’s voice with that of a bird!”
“Perfect, lets run it!”
Makes you wonder how they came up with that farfetched idea in the 60’s? Hmmm.
Man, how times at NBC have changed (NBC please don’t sue me! I enjoy your primetime programming and your Olympic coverage is supreme….seriously don’t sue me, I’ll keep pitching your station if it keeps me out of hot water…no pun intended)
Gotta hand it to them, they got 3 years of programming out of it.
So what’s next on the list that I’m making up as I go along… oh eggs.
Why do the egg farmers of wherever insist on pushing eggs as being more than a breakfast food. Truly, I do understand the benefits of eggs. They are a great source of calcium, vitamins, and provide a substantial amount of energy, but really, for dinner? Yes yes, you can mix eggs with almost any dish to spice it up, but perhaps I’m simply too traditional to enjoy eggs beyond noon. At 8pm when I’m thinking “what would satisfy me right now”, eggs, well they simply are not the first (or second) thing that comes to my mind. So why then do you try and tell me that eggs are great for dinner. I want my steak, my potatoes, my hamburgers, my onion rings, my carrots, my whisky chicken, my eggs, wait no.. no eggs. Shame on you egg farmers of wherever for trying to convince me that eggs are as tasty when the sun goes down as when the sun comes up. Now if only I had more time in the morning to cook them.
What’s the deal with movie theater popcorn. How did they make it so tasty? Personally, I’m convinced it’s completely psychological. They use the exact same machines at sporting arenas and such, and really, lets face it, popcorn at the arenas isn’t as good as at the theater. I once believed Little Debbie put nicotine in their snake cakes, which is what made them so delicious and irresistible as a child. I would eat a whole box because I simply couldn’t put them down. (This isn’t true, so again I’m going to ask that Little Debbie not to sue me) Perhaps movie theater popcorn has these same “nicotine” properties, infused in the butter they use. I don’t know. I personally never order the popcorn, but that’s because it costs more than the ticket to get in.
Why do people like coffee so much. Like really, it tastes like crap and is terrible for you. And for all you that have become a slave to coffee, shame on you. But my questions is, who out there drank coffee for the first time and was like “Oh my God, this is delicious, this bean made brew is superb. I need to consume as much of this as I possibly can. Wow, it’s like the more I drink the better I feel, oh wait, I’m crashing…” *sip* “Hey it works almost instantly. Good God this is the worlds greatest creation.” Not sure who, if anyone, would even say that, but that’s my interpretations of coffee drinkers. Yes, I’m a jerk like that. Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to have a cup of tea before my shift end. Speaking of which… Earl Grey, not British.. Chinese. Go figure eh!
Monday, May 26, 2008
Greatest Fear
So I'm at work. I'm kinda tired, it's been a long weekend. Not literally, same length as most. Btw, i would like to take this time to tell any Americans that happen to be reading, you took our weekend. May 24 fell on the totally wrong weekend because of the oddly timed Memorial Day weekend, but don't worry, I don't blame you guys. Although, i will say, shopping is pretty sweet on Memorial Day; I also love American Thanksgiving... so on that note, please enjoy your/our long weekend. We sure did.
Anyway, I've trailed off, I'm at work, at me and my co-worker 'Cranberry Clan' are wasting time discussing a dream I had in which i accumulated $400,000-$600,000, by taking some stacks of cash from what was originally a $2M find that i recognized as not being mine. None the less this led to the discussion of what I would do if I happen to wake up and find that the tooth fairy had made a mistake and left me with the glorious dream cash. I told Cranberry that i would actually be quite scared because i don't know who's money it is. I like money, but i'm not dying for dead Prime Ministers, and I'm certainly not dying for a loon or a beaver, or rink full children playing hockey. (To those of your from the US, our $5 bill has kids playing hockey. Take that Lincoln Memorial.) Well this sparked a discussion of our greatest fears.
"My greatest fear? Mine is, or should i say are, mimes and clowns. Well more specifically, it's Mime's and Clowns joining forces together to create a massive global terrorist group; raping children, pillaging villages, erecting invisible walls, and hoarding the world's umbrella supply. Riding around in little cars blasting propaganda to the masses. Sure everyone will be wearing a red smile, but no one will be happy. The streets run red with make-up and seltzer water. People tied and gaged with invisibles ropes, eyes ripped open so they can watch as as men and women get their feet stretched, tearing ligaments and breaking bones. Labourers forced to move heavy loads in which they cannot even see. This my friend is my hell, my biggest fear. That and scorpions.... ewwww!!!!"
Anyway, I've trailed off, I'm at work, at me and my co-worker 'Cranberry Clan' are wasting time discussing a dream I had in which i accumulated $400,000-$600,000, by taking some stacks of cash from what was originally a $2M find that i recognized as not being mine. None the less this led to the discussion of what I would do if I happen to wake up and find that the tooth fairy had made a mistake and left me with the glorious dream cash. I told Cranberry that i would actually be quite scared because i don't know who's money it is. I like money, but i'm not dying for dead Prime Ministers, and I'm certainly not dying for a loon or a beaver, or rink full children playing hockey. (To those of your from the US, our $5 bill has kids playing hockey. Take that Lincoln Memorial.) Well this sparked a discussion of our greatest fears.
"My greatest fear? Mine is, or should i say are, mimes and clowns. Well more specifically, it's Mime's and Clowns joining forces together to create a massive global terrorist group; raping children, pillaging villages, erecting invisible walls, and hoarding the world's umbrella supply. Riding around in little cars blasting propaganda to the masses. Sure everyone will be wearing a red smile, but no one will be happy. The streets run red with make-up and seltzer water. People tied and gaged with invisibles ropes, eyes ripped open so they can watch as as men and women get their feet stretched, tearing ligaments and breaking bones. Labourers forced to move heavy loads in which they cannot even see. This my friend is my hell, my biggest fear. That and scorpions.... ewwww!!!!"
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Flushed Love
-- Jones -- And I'm back to doing nothing. I must say, watching sewer lines is extremely exciting. The drama between the toilet paper and the urine was intense...not to mention the subplot about tissue paper and toilet paper being related; did not see that one coming.
-- Porcupine -- As long as you get those TPS reports on my desk by the end of the day. Did you get that memo? Wait, what? I heard that tissue paper was seen coming out of a hotel with paper towel, while toilet paper was sleeping with paper towels wife, kleenex. that slut!
(in the background) "JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!"
-- Jones -- Well I'm definitely going to need another copy of that memo. So if you could get that to me that would be greatly appreciated so that I can have those TPS reports on your desk with the proper cover later. In terms of the conduit drama, we don't know for sure that it was actually paper towel that was with tissue paper, it may have been napkin. We don't know, we only know that whoever it was, they were super absorbent. Unfortunately we won't find out till season 3. I hate waiting for the next season. But yeah paper towel and kleenex...my god, what a slut. She's been with paper towel, toilet paper, bounty sheet, and lets not forget the FFM three some with Cigarette butt and Q-Tip?! Filth. This whole situation is spiraling out of control.
-- Porcupine -- As long as you get those TPS reports on my desk by the end of the day. Did you get that memo? Wait, what? I heard that tissue paper was seen coming out of a hotel with paper towel, while toilet paper was sleeping with paper towels wife, kleenex. that slut!
(in the background) "JERRY JERRY JERRY!!!"
-- Jones -- Well I'm definitely going to need another copy of that memo. So if you could get that to me that would be greatly appreciated so that I can have those TPS reports on your desk with the proper cover later. In terms of the conduit drama, we don't know for sure that it was actually paper towel that was with tissue paper, it may have been napkin. We don't know, we only know that whoever it was, they were super absorbent. Unfortunately we won't find out till season 3. I hate waiting for the next season. But yeah paper towel and kleenex...my god, what a slut. She's been with paper towel, toilet paper, bounty sheet, and lets not forget the FFM three some with Cigarette butt and Q-Tip?! Filth. This whole situation is spiraling out of control.
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