That Time Already

So it’s that time of year again! That’s right; there are only 126 days left in the calendar year before the 21st Century hits it’s first set of double digits. 126 days to make 2009 a year to remember. It’s time to start thinking about the things that have been done and the things that haven’t. Yes sir, it’s time for that fall overhaul. As a wise hick once told me, “Get yir piggies outta the pen and clean up that shit”. Good advice if I do say so myself. I don’t own a pen, or any ‘piggies’ but I do understand the metaphor and should probably head his red neck advice. (Wow! I never once thought I would hear myself say that in my lifetime.) Nonetheless, it’s time to make a change, get the ball rolling, up the ante, clean up the shit! Yet here I am wondering what I can do to make these next 10 and a half dozen days truly worth remembering. I could break the bank and travel the world; take a chance and go skydiving; drop everything and become a hermit. Most likely, however, I will continue with the same daily routine, simply waiting for an opportunity to make something happen. Then again who knows. 239 days down 126 days left. Bring it on little piggies!

Because It's Not Topical

How come there aren’t more foods that comes in ‘popcorn’ form?
Whoever said laughter was the best medicine has never been sick!
Speaking of which, has anyone clinically killed themselves laughing?
It’s amazing the “Clear Out Your Desk” cake isn’t more popular.
Did the Scarecrow actually have a brain before, because I think the Wizard of Oz was just full of it. (After all, without a brain, how would the scarecrow know any better)
Why is so much effort made to make vegetarian products so similar to meat products? They made their choice. (There is something about vegetarian meatballs that doesn’t quite sit right)

The Words We Live By

“I’m too old and it seems out of reach; but nowadays, everything seems out of reach. I know I’ve got what it takes to succeed; I just don’t know what the fuck I want to be. I don’t know where I’m going; I don’t know what my future holds. How can a path be chosen when no one knows what’s down the road?”

- Michael Boyd

Monday = Mundane

Why do people use the expression “wake up dead” - who came up with this expression? Did they wake up dead?
Do they still teach kids about recycling in school or has that become common knowledge
What’s the deal with Mac getting all up in PC’s grill, neither make a good computer
Do ghosts only whisper? Is there such thing as a ghost talker? Ghost screamer?
What exactly is new about Times New Roman? What did Times Old Roman look like?
It must be annoying to have people eat your canvas if you’re a sandwich artist

It's been a while. I've been busy, apparently that means I'm no longer creative.

What if the Sun took a vacation?
What the hell is "Love Fluff" - if I was fat, should I be insulted?
What is a tab? Who decided that should be a key?
Imagine how self-conscious an elephant must feel
What ever happened to the old fashion circuses with freaks, and ponies, and human cannon balls?
Who ever decided that vertical blinds were a good idea?
Will there ever be a Rocky 7?

Yet More Thoughts - Officially Distracted

Who decided there was a man in the moon, I mean really, it looks nothing like a person. Not a very attractive one anyway.

The lady that cleans the office keeps knocking papers off my walls and then does not clean them up. I ask my self, is it only her job to clean it up if I cause the mess?

Does anyone really believe that honking a horn will make you think of a terrible chocolate bar, it doesn’t, I would know, I get honked at.

Can you forget that you forgot something?

A Penny For My Thoughts

Okay so does anyone still use pennies? I mean, I don’t. I think maybe once a year I will roll them to produce foldin’ money and really that’s about it. I would say get rid of pennies all together, but I’m sure people wouldn’t appreciate everything being rounded up to the nearest 5 cent. Although I suppose companies could be nice and round down. Obviously that will never happen. But really, other than the detailed results of the 'end of year financial report' those digits at the rear end of the decimal mean absolutely nothing. Grab your pennies people, unite in the world’s largest wishing well celebration. Together we will throw them all into a giant lake and wish that they never come back!

It's been a while. *Pop*

Will a blind person use the saying “It’s best to be seen and not heard?”
Is it possible to be afraid of widths instead of heights? Lengths?
If I make a comic, will be a movie 25 years from now?
Why do calendars only have 5 weeks when every year there are at least two months that need 6?

Thank God It's Friday's Random Thought

Why doesn’t acid waste ever give people powers? Why do we keep pretending it does?

Another Pointless Thought

Caterpillar to butterfly…. I’m sorry I just don’t see it.

Just Because It's Friday

Why don’t funeral homes always have their flags at half-mast?

It Made Me Laugh

"If instead of talking to your plants, you yell at them, will they grow to be troubled and insecure?"

Because I was Thinking it

If I was Webster, I would have added so many made up words.

Apparently I Don't Have Much to do Today

Why keep things in shoe boxes

Because I Was Thinking

Is there anything ironic about good advice just a little too late?

Tuesday the 13th.. Wooooohhhh!

If tomorrow’s product is here today how did we get it? And what happens tomorrow? Will it become yesterday’s product, or will it still be considered today’s product? (Not today’s today, tomorrow’s today)

It Came to me on May 12th

My boss takes long lunches. I don’t mind, I’m just saying

Random Thought Of May 10th

How much of the stone age was actually made of stone? Does the same apply to the bronze age?

A Thought For May 7th

Will a watched phone never ring?

Random Thoughts Of the Day

Why did yo momma jokes become popular?
Out of all the places to live, why did Oscar choose a trash can?
Is lady luck a brunette?
What would life be like if turtles were nature’s dominant species?
It’s bright inside
Imagine a world without erasers
Planes can fly, why can’t I
I have a roll up the rim to win cup, needless to say, despite rolling up said rim, i did not win
My calendar still says March
Why would anyone want to eat blue cheese
Why five toes, why not four? Six? Two?
Remember when “snail-mail” was the fastest form of mail.
What would life be like if I went back to 1950 with a double Big-Mac?
Just think about the last time you had a bath
Now think about the next time you’ll have one
Now think of a pony, with pink hair, oh oh, and wings, and, and, and lasers! Yeah!
Remember duck hunt?
My friend almost named their kid Micheal Hunt
Imagine reading your own obituary