Wild Fire Of Confusion

If I knew what I was feeling
Perhaps I would be able to explain it
However I fear that I cannot
As I am far from understanding it myself
I haven’t been this vulnerable in a long time
Lately, I feel that it has been more hostile
I’m not sure if its your actions or my jealousy
For a while things were going quite well
I was not upset
I was not angry
I was not even jealous
Though I will always be slightly heartbroken
I was, in fact, happy, content.
There were some moments even
Where I was feeling rather superior
A sense of satisfaction in knowing I had avoided something
A realization that I never did or said such things
A feeling of relief.
I mean this not in an insulting way
It simply reminds me of what made things so great
What made things worthwhile
What made things our own
Without fear of anger, violence, or depression
We forged our own path
One of tranquility and relaxation
I don’t know what draws you to the flames
The light, the heat, the intensity
Perhaps it’s the unpredictability that you crave
A wild fire you are
This I always knew
But is being a contained burn not better than being burned
The spectacle of light as it dances
But yet I suppose the wrath of such things is beautiful too
And yet you laugh away the pain
I respect that, because I often cannot
Myself, I choose to avoid the pain, and simply laugh
If ever you wish to speak to me
I will not judge despite my contradicting opinions
You are who you are
That is what I love so much about you
My ears are open
My shoulder is braced
Despite being so vulnerable
You somehow make me feel strong
So I will wait until you’re ready
As a lifetime is long.